Helicopter Mom, Helicopter Mom, Helicopter Mom. Get me a t-shirt and I will wear it. I have been told by some people that I am a helicopter mom. And while I can see where this might be a negative, I also see where it is a positive. I don’t know about you, but I feel there is so much in this world today that my mother did not have to be concerned about when I was growing up. My radar is up all the time. I wish I felt comfortable letting my daughter bike to a friend’s house, but I am not there. No yet. So what makes me a helicopter mom?
I TRY TO WATCH EVERYTHING MY DAUGHTER DOES.
I try to be present when my daughter is at a friend’s house, when she plays a sport and when she is watching TV. Am I present at every moment…nope. I wish I could be, but I work and there are sometimes it is not appropriate for her to be with me. As she is aging those times apart are growing because they need to so she can develop her own self, but I feel comfortable with these times because I have watched her and she is ready.
I MONITOR HER FRIENDSHIPS.
If I see there is a child who is repeatedly hurting her feelings, we back away. If I need to intervene, I might. I hope I make the right decision when to intervene and when not to intervene. I give her opportunities to work through issues with her friends; sometimes they are successful and sometimes not, but she learns at her pace about friendship
I TEACHER HER.
Yes, I am her homeschool teacher, but also her life teacher. I try to give her life lessons when the moments arrive, but my life lessons may not be perfect, therefore my child might not be… I try to correct any bad advice when I see I steered her wrong. I let her know: “Mommy gave you some bad advice.” She sees that I am fallible and that it is OK for her to be fallible.
I PAY ATTENTION TO EVERYTHING AROUND HER.
I pay attention to her surroundings, the conversations going on around her, how I think she is interacting with situations around her and I move her to the other side of the road if I see something ahead that troubles me. I teach her to pay attention to everything around her. It was pointed out to me the other day this might not have been such a great idea as she notices when the girls in the corner are laughing and pointing; when she is excluded or when a friend is being excluded. This may put her too in tune to things around her that she should not be worried about at all. I agree. I have now added to the “lesson”: Observe what is going on around you, but don’t put too much worry into what people are saying. If you are happy with yourself and your choices, that is all that matters.
I LET HER GROW AT HER PACE.
If she needs to hug me and sit in my lap, I will let do that as long as she wants me to. Despite several of her friends being obsessed with singers, movie stars or boys, she is not, and I am OK with that. She has a lifetime of being an adult; she can be a child until she needs to be an adult.
Call me a helicopter parent, buy me the shirt and I will wear it proudly.